"I don't think I could do anything for a lifetime...except, like..porn." - ilo

"Fun starts with sodomy!" - Baba Ganoush

"Noon? Like in the morning?" - Amtrekker

"I'm a pants prisoner in my own house!" - ilo

"You don't need an acci.dent to be ugly." - SandraKraut

"I am going to put you in a boob coccoon!" - Danielle Rocks

"This beer is making me sober!" - ilo, while drinking a Kolsch

"Even when you win, you feel like you've lost. That's what it feels like to play a champion." - Space Frank

"Take a shot, for the greater good of the next 35 minutes!" - The Don

"I think they should make BBQ chicken scented candles." Vegetarian Julia

"Every time I listen to Tragic Kingdom I think of burning books." - BM

"Every Saturday I have to call my mother..I do not know why." Andre the German

" I think it was tickets to something super important... oh yeah, Lord of the Dance." - Prof. Barnesworth

"Your dad should have breast fed more when your mother was pregnant." - ilo

"There's a difference between being an alcoholic and drinking on purpose." - anonymous